Friday, April 16 . 12:08 AM
Hi guys, I dont know if it's totally weird or not but I am actually gonna blog about something today...It has really been a while since the last time I blogged in my very own blog! But yea, I feel happy to be in ACJC and really, I made lots of new friends and had many countless experiences in the school.
I really enjoyed the recent band concert at the Yong Siew Toh Conservatory of Music (NUS) and it was the first MUSE concert of the year. It was really the first time that I actually had tears forming in my eyes during the 3rd mvt of the Third Symphony by James Barnes. The horn solo was damn emo and my friend really played it well. It really touched my inner-most feeling within and I truly enjoyed the performance. I really love making music and to express my music to others but when I sit down and truly ask myself....'Do I really have a strong passion in music? Do I mind playing the piano for abt 2-3 hours everyday? Am I really happy to commit myself to music? ' All these questions are really hard to answer and I dont really have the motivation and passion to practice piano everyday from 2-3 hours. I just love to make music but i admit I am lazy.
Until today, I still dont know my passion in life. I always wondered what will I be like in 10 years time, or after NS. What will I do? Will I pursue a music degree? University? Piano teacher? Haiz, I am just really confused with myself and I really dont know what to do in life. I am struggling in JC and my grades are quite bad. I really wanna do something about it but I am quite lazy and it really alarming that I am not doing anything about it. I try to study and do my homework but somehow, everything that I remember now will be forgotten in 2-3 days time. I really have poor memory. I am just emoing everyday....
And to add to my emoness, I have a crush on a girl in my school. She's really cute and amicable. She's really active and a happy joyful girl. I cant' really fully describe her but I feel that she stands out from the other girls I know in AC. Somehow, when i talk to her, I feel a sense of happiness and that nice feeling in me. But somehow, I noticed her for about 2 months already but I still hesitate to make the first move. I just feel that I'm not the one for her. Like there's a part of me that constantly tells me that I shouldn't go for that girl cause I just don't wanna harm her and to add stress to her life. It's just me. I am really an emotional guy and I do care for my friends. I really try my best to help and to the special girl like her.... The more I won't wanna harm her....
Haiz, life is weird. I really can sum my personalities.... I am caring, understanding, cheerful, loving and really, I wish that she will find the right guy in her life and will bring joy to her and her family....
Till then...
Take cares everyone...:)
Hahaz