Saturday, January 17 . 7:55 PM
Hi ppl..I am starting this new blog cause I do not want to remember what happened last time..Anyways, I got my O results and I had these following results...
English-C5
Combined Humanities-B4
Mathematics-A1
Additional Mathematics-B3
Physics-B4
Chemistry-B4
Music-A1
Chinese B-Pass
L1R5-18, L1R4-14, ELR2B2-14
My parents said it was ok..But I know deep down in my heart, I could have done better...Laugh if you want, I know I have lousy results.. Still, I worked hard for Os... I really hope I can get into a poly or a jc. I am very depressed inside...I dont know what to do...I have 12 after bonus for ELR2B2..and guess what, I am short of 1 point to enter banking and financial services at SP, 2 points away from Banking and fianancial services at NP. 1 Point away from Tourism and Resort Management... Useless man...I feel so useless...Gosh, with these lousy results..there is really very little chance of entering a good poly course....Still, I had to fill up 12 choices in the JAE 2009...My choices are...
1) ACJC (ARTS)
2) Banking and Financial Services (SP)
3) Aeronautical Engineering (SP)
4) Financial Informatics (SP)
5) Tourism and Resort Management (SP)
6) Aerospace Electronics (SP)
7) Business Information Technology (SP)
8) Chemical Engineering (SP)
9) Mechanical Engineering (SP)
10) Electrical and Electronics Engineering (SP)
11) Clean Energy (SP)
12) Architecture (SP)
I got a feeling that I will be posted to my 4th choice, which is Financial Informatics at SP....BTW, I only like 1 poly...which is SIngapore Poly!!! You know why...cause it's so near Dover MRT!!!
Whatever, enough of all these...I really thought carefully..Why didnt I study since sec 3??? Why regret now? Isnt it too late??? I feel like a retard... HAIZ... What to do...results are here to stay with me for my Whole life....I cant help but just emo and cry at one corner...
I kept thinking and thinking...to be able to have a good family in the future...means that I must have a stable job that earns a lot of money...so I can support my family....To be able to have a good job, you must have good qualifications... To have good qualifications, you must study hard for it...I didnt.. I cant turn back anymore... I still remember my chem teacher...she scolded me...saying that I didnt bother to study and revise chem at home...she said, you will regret in the future..What she said really made sense...I am now regretting.. But I know, it's too late...
What's done is done... We can do anything...
When I saw my friends collecting their O results..I saw them getting better results than me...I didnt even feel jealous at all...Instead, I feel happy for them...Cause I know that they did study for their Os and they deserve their good results...not like me...last minute then start choinging... too late man...
Now, I am trying to appeal to ACJC...but I know my score are WAY WAY WAY LOUSIER than their score of L1R5-7. I am trying hard in their band practice but I know I keep thinking that I wont get the rhythms right... I know I am pessimistic... I know it myself... Even Amanda is getting irritated by my attitude...she also said to me...what kind of mentality do you have? she was rather angry when she said that...I always say die la....walao...so hard, so fast...die one...sure die wan...haiz..
I am a pessimistic person...But I want to change... I really want to...I want to work hard and help the percussion section... I feel so sad and demoralised... I took 2 months just to play 1 piece... and more than 3 hours to play 10 bars of music... How slow right?
Which girl will want a pessimistic person and a person that didnt study hard enough for his Os, getting lousy results...Girls will prefer smarter guys...those guys who gets 6A1s...all disinctions...cause they know that these guys think better and secure them a better future... not like me... 18points...average of 6 B3s.. I am not smart and yea, laugh at me if you want.
I know, all these times, I have been walking alone....My heart bleeds and is in constant pain...My mind is tired and confused...I really want someone to talk to...someone that understand how I feel inside...someone that can help me.. someone that cares for me... I feel miserable..
I feel bad....for all my mistakes that I am done in the past...I am willing to work hard and to do well in the future... I hope people will forgive me along the way...I have many flaws... I really want to correct them.... HAIZ...still in the end..it's my future...no one will bother about my future except myself....see, aldy? when you got lousy Os results...was there anyone that actually cared for your results?? was there? NO. It's you, and your results.. no one can help you... You must suffer the consequences of not studying constantly since sec 3... People started comparing their results and I was there...standing at the back of the hall.. Sad and in misery... Emoing ...
Life is painful...and stressful... nvm, just ignore me...
This is fate... what kind of fate? gosh... Sadness in my life... :(
STill, I will never give up...I am not that kind of person who gives up easily...watch me man... I will work hard and beat you guys in the future... HAHA..:)
I know that I will have a happy and lovely family in the future..I will work hard for that day to come... I will get a stable job... so, start now..:)